if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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