Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
