So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
