on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
