last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
