ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
