Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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