watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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