My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize