At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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