it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I AM VODKA MAN
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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