Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
