glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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