Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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