if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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