i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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