So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
