Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
