Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
