we're chasing vodka with high fives
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
