why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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