toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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