i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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