I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
