I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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