Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
