We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
