it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
