did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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