I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
