He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
