Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
