how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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