And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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