Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
