Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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