Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
