So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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