You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
