Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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