im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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