What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
