Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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