dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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