I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
