those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
