Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
