redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
