I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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