ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
