shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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