Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
