Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
