Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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