I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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