i permit you to call me
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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