I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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