i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
